On What We Owe Each Other

“Honi asked the man planting a carob tree how long until it bore fruit. Seventy years, he said. Just as my ancestors planted for me, I plant for my children.”

“One generation plants the trees under whose cool shade another generation rests.”

“One generation opens up the roads on which another generation travels.”

“Ask a farmer, however old, for whom he is planting, and he will answer: I should not merely receive these things from my ancestors, but should also hand them on to the next generation.”

“Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people, and have always in view not only the present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground.”

“Show kindness to your parents, whether one or both of them attain to old age with you. Say not to them, Fie, neither reproach them, but speak to them with respectful speech.”

Psychologists measure generativity, the concern for establishing and guiding the next generation. It shows up in three places at once: what people say they care about, what they actually do, and the stories they tell about their own lives.

“Help thy father in his age, and grieve him not as long as he liveth. And if his understanding fail, have patience with him; and despise him not when thou art in thy full strength.”

“The old woman looks after her hens, and the hens look after the old woman.”

“You have no right to enjoy a child's share in the labor of your fathers, unless your children are to be blest by your labors.”

Studies of British families found that the more a grandparent was involved in a teenager's life, the fewer emotional and behavioural problems the teenager had, and the effect was strongest in families under strain.