“He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me. In those who harbour such thoughts hatred will never cease.”
The Dhammapada, c. 200 BC · early Buddhist verse collection
Chapter 2
On Letting Go
“He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me. In those who do not harbour such thoughts hatred will cease.”
The Dhammapada, c. 200 BC · early Buddhist verse collection
“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.”
Charlotte Bronte, 1847 · English novelist, in the voice of Helen Burns
“The best way of avenging thyself is not to become like the wrong-doer.”
Marcus Aurelius, c. 180 AD · Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher
“The greatest remedy for anger is delay: beg anger to grant you this at the first, not in order that it may pardon the offence, but that it may form a right judgment about it.”
Seneca, c. 45 AD · Roman Stoic philosopher and playwright
“I've been trying to cure it for forty years, and have only succeeded in controlling it. I am angry nearly every day of my life, but I have learned not to show it.”
Louisa May Alcott, 1868 · American novelist, in the voice of Marmee March
“Living well is the best revenge.”
George Herbert, 1640 · Welsh-born English poet and priest
“As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”
The Book of Psalms, c. 500 BC · Hebrew hymn of thanksgiving
“When death, the great Reconciler, has come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity.”
George Eliot, 1859 · English novelist, pen name of Mary Ann Evans
When people were asked to rehearse a grudge, their heart rate, blood pressure and sweat response climbed. When the same people imagined forgiving the same offender, those measures fell back toward rest.
Charlotte van Oyen Witvliet and colleagues, 2001 · study of seventy-one participants recalling a real offender
Pooling every prospective study they could find, two researchers reported that anger and hostility predicted future coronary heart disease, both in healthy people and in those already ill.
Yoichi Chida and Andrew Steptoe, 2009 · meta-analytic review of prospective cardiac evidence
In a national sample of 1,232 Americans past sixty-five, those who forgave others only on conditions carried a higher risk of dying, and physical health helped explain the gap.
Loren Toussaint, Amy Owen and Alyssa Cheadle, 2012 · longitudinal study of forgiveness and mortality
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